Thursday, 23 July 2009
Friday, 10 July 2009
Wales, a small country in London apparently...
Yanks... you gotta love em. Larry King, a current affairs presenter supposedly, asks Welsh singer Shaheen about his heritage. "I'm half Iranian and the rest of me is Welsh," explains the nervous child protege. "So, you were born in London?" enquires Larry ignorantly, having clearly never seen a map of the UK. Shaheen politely corrects him but gets a little tongue-tied, "no, I was born in Wales, a small country in London." Bless. Seems us Brits need to listen harder in our geography lessons too... Thanks to Shaheen's nervous blooper, several million Americans now think Wales is a country in London!
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Tit-bits of telly goss this week...
- Janet Street-Porter got kicked by a cow whilst filming The F Word. She was not amused. But we think it’s hilarious.
- Alesha Dixon currently filming a new documentary for BBC3 about absent Fathers… and no, it’s not going to be called Strictly Come Raise Your Kids.
- Jo Frost, aka Super Nanny, is about to start filming a new C4 series with Outline. In the new series, Jo will face kids aged 3-15 in a kind of parenting road show. She'll talk to parents across the country to find out what is worrying them about their family life, meeting kids with conditions such as SED (Serious Emotional Disturbance). I think most parents would argue their kids have this condition... And according to a totally unreliable source (Wikipedia), she will take the role of Madame Morrible in the London production of the musical, Wicked, next year. A fitting role for the Anne Robinson of child care.
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Don't switch channels during the adverts...
Media Savvy can't wait for this gem of a commercial to hit our screens.
Yet another reality show couple get divorced...
What will ITV2 commission next to replace Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter STATESIDE? How about...
- Peter and Chantelle: ESSEXSIDE
- Katie vs. Peter: Custody Battle of the Century
- Katie & Peter: Divorced and Happily Ever After
Katie and Pete join the likes of Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Hulk Hogan - all of whom have embarked on the reality show dream with their other half only to have their marriages crumble on screen.
My money is on Kerry Katona and Mark Croft next...
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
TV gossip this week
- Margaret leaves The Apprentice – the saddest news since Blue announced they were reuniting. I'm guessing she won't be doing her PHD at Edinburgh...
- ITV’s new show ‘Four Weddings’ is set to be a big hit, think the ‘Come Dine With Me’ format but instead of attending and rating each other’s dinner parties, four brides attend and rate each other’s weddings! I think ‘Bitchy Brides’ would have been a more fitting title?
- Jessica Simpson’s agent at William Morris Agency stole the idea I pitched her. Flattering? No. Annoying? Yes.
- Big Brother: the new format with Davina putting a non-housemate on the night bus home was just weird. Even Davina’s manic smiling couldn’t hide the awkwardness.
- Susan Boyle out of rehab – Pete Doherty looks like he’ll be taking her place after being caught injecting drugs on a British Airways flight (allegedly). Brings a whole new meaning to joining the 'mile high club'.
- A Swedish quiz show is in trouble with Ofcom for showing people staple gunning pieces of paper to themselves before the watershed. Sounds like high brow stuff – I predict it’ll be a Sky One acquisition in no time.
- Ratings bomb for America’s 'I’m A Celebrity' with Brit chick Myleene Class. Perhaps because American celeb bookers just can’t get anyone decent… I mean, Janice Dickinson again? Aim a little higher, people.
- Finally... Australian comedy sketch series, Chaser's War On Everything, has been taken off air for 2 weeks by broadcaster ABC after a controversial skit received complaints:
Monday, 1 June 2009
It's All In The Game
The creator of my favourite American TV series ever, The Wire, appeared at The Guardian Hay Festival this weekend - the only plausible reason I can think of to travel to the depths of rural Wales and hang out with a cliquey collective of literary geeks and left-wing librarians. David Simon, the genius behind unforgettable characters like McNulty, Stringer Bell and Avon Barksdale, and co-author of Homicide and The Corner (top of my Amazon wish list), spoke to a room full of Guardian-reading, middle class media-types who were either hard-core Wire fans (like me) or just wanted to find out what all the fuss is about. For those of you not familiar with The Wire – where have you been?! In a nutshell, it’s the most addictive, life-consuming and talked about show on both sides of the Atlantic.
According to one of my favourite blogs, www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, the reason so many middle-class white people like The Wire is simple… “For white people to like a TV show it helps if it is: critically acclaimed, low-rated, shown on premium cable, and available as a DVD box set… If you attempt to talk about an episode they have not seen yet, they will scream and cover their ears. In white culture, giving away information about a film or TV series is considered as rude as spitting on your mothers grave. It is an unforgivable offense… For the past three years, whenever you say ‘The Wire’ white people are required to respond by saying ‘it’s the best show on television.’… So why do they love it so much? It all comes down to authenticity. A long time ago, someone started a rumor that when The Wire is on TV, actual police wires go quiet because all the dealers are watching the show. Though this is not true, it seems plausible enough to white people and has imbued the show with the needed authenticity.”
I must confess to adhering to this stereotype. Instead of saying ‘yes’ at work now, I have resorted to mumbling ‘no doubt’ or ‘true, dat’. Half my colleagues give me a quiet nod of recognition whilst others look bewildered. It takes several episodes before the viewer can even begin to understand these drug-dealing colloquialisms and complex street vernacular but this is what makes The Wire so inimitable. As Omar says, ‘a man’s gotta have a code’.
As well as being popular amongst yuppie white kids whose lives are far removed from the drug-infested existence of Baltimore’s impoverished residents, the show’s cult-like following includes Barack Obama, Jay-Z and Eminem. The Detroit rapper confessed in a recent interview to watching The Wire in it’s entirety during his career break - describing it as ‘like crack’. Now, I’ve never dabbled with crack but if it’s anything like as good as The Wire… I may need to get down to the corner and get a re-up.
The Wire is now showing on BBC Two.
According to one of my favourite blogs, www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, the reason so many middle-class white people like The Wire is simple… “For white people to like a TV show it helps if it is: critically acclaimed, low-rated, shown on premium cable, and available as a DVD box set… If you attempt to talk about an episode they have not seen yet, they will scream and cover their ears. In white culture, giving away information about a film or TV series is considered as rude as spitting on your mothers grave. It is an unforgivable offense… For the past three years, whenever you say ‘The Wire’ white people are required to respond by saying ‘it’s the best show on television.’… So why do they love it so much? It all comes down to authenticity. A long time ago, someone started a rumor that when The Wire is on TV, actual police wires go quiet because all the dealers are watching the show. Though this is not true, it seems plausible enough to white people and has imbued the show with the needed authenticity.”
I must confess to adhering to this stereotype. Instead of saying ‘yes’ at work now, I have resorted to mumbling ‘no doubt’ or ‘true, dat’. Half my colleagues give me a quiet nod of recognition whilst others look bewildered. It takes several episodes before the viewer can even begin to understand these drug-dealing colloquialisms and complex street vernacular but this is what makes The Wire so inimitable. As Omar says, ‘a man’s gotta have a code’.
As well as being popular amongst yuppie white kids whose lives are far removed from the drug-infested existence of Baltimore’s impoverished residents, the show’s cult-like following includes Barack Obama, Jay-Z and Eminem. The Detroit rapper confessed in a recent interview to watching The Wire in it’s entirety during his career break - describing it as ‘like crack’. Now, I’ve never dabbled with crack but if it’s anything like as good as The Wire… I may need to get down to the corner and get a re-up.
The Wire is now showing on BBC Two.
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Su-bo
As Susan Boyle hysteria sweeps the nation like swine flu, it seems the British public love a home-grown hero. Boyle is the epitome of geek chic. The self-confessed virgin's story is straight out of a Hollywood rom com... Never Been Kissed, 40 Year Old Virgin, She's All That... they all bear striking resemblance to Boyle's transition from laughed-at loner to delicious diva. The rags to riches story of this bonnie lass is pure TV gold, you could see the £ signs appear in Simon's eyes before she'd even reached the chorus.
It's bad enough that her surname sounds like a puss-filled skin abscess but the fact that the whole world knows her sexual history (or lack of it), would be hugely embarrassing to most people. Not Boyle, she knows which side her bread is buttered on and is quickly learning how to lure in the media. She's a cash cow who Simon Cowell is keen to milk.
It's bad enough that her surname sounds like a puss-filled skin abscess but the fact that the whole world knows her sexual history (or lack of it), would be hugely embarrassing to most people. Not Boyle, she knows which side her bread is buttered on and is quickly learning how to lure in the media. She's a cash cow who Simon Cowell is keen to milk.
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Freak Show
Anyone watch Louis Theroux’s attempt to befriend paedos on BBC2 this weekend? Sinister, voyeuristic and, at times, had me recoiling in horror.
One scene in particular, which echoed the opening scene of Titicut Follies (1967), was particularly strange. Titicut Follies (a must-see for any documentary-lover) opens with the patients from a State hospital for the criminally insane performing a vaudeville-style show for the entertainment of the institution’s Governors and selected guests. Parading the them out on stage, it’s uncomfortable to watch as the patients, some rather disorientated and bewildered by the performance, unwillingly participate in a cruel exhibition of their mental instability.
Similarly, a scene in A Place For Paedophiles, made for equally uneasy viewing. As part of their annual Halloween celebrations, the patients sang a rendition of ‘Addam’s Family’. Given the context, the family-friendly lyrics took on a whole new meaning - “They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky, they're all together ooky, The Addams Family. Their house is a museum, where people come to see 'em, they really are a scream, the Addams Family.” An ill-advised song-selection and one which gave Louis yet another apt opportunity to stand in the corner and watch on like an uninvited party guest, fearful of encroaching on the paedo party. His face said it all.
Thanks to the remarkable access gained by the production team, the film offered an eerie insight into the lives of ostracized individuals who society chooses to shun. Scenes in which grown men construct toy fun fair rides and reminsce about preying on their own children, were disturbing to say the least. Faced with stories of unimaginable human cruelty, Louis kept his cool and took the role of a passive bystander – resisting the temptation to judge, criticise and condemn.
If nothing else, Louis is certainly a brave man. In one scene, he obligingly drank a cocktail mixed by a man convicted of date rape. In his typically polite and oh-so-British manner, he complimented the convicted rapist on his concoction, sipping the drink as the camera lingered on his awkwardness.
Although Louis never really delved into the deep realms of their depravity and questioned what prompted them to act out their perverted fantasies, he did seem to form a relationship with some of the contributors. By the end of the documentary he seemed verging on understanding them and finding forgiveness for their loathsome acts against children. Mostly they were Grandpa-figures you’d befriend if they were a neighbour, old genteel men, softly-spoken and welcoming… and it was easy to forget, that these were the very qualities that enabled them to gain children’s trust in first place. A compelling documentary but one that chills to the core.
Watch on BBC iplayer here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00k3ms6/Louis_Theroux_A_Place_for_Paedophiles/
One scene in particular, which echoed the opening scene of Titicut Follies (1967), was particularly strange. Titicut Follies (a must-see for any documentary-lover) opens with the patients from a State hospital for the criminally insane performing a vaudeville-style show for the entertainment of the institution’s Governors and selected guests. Parading the them out on stage, it’s uncomfortable to watch as the patients, some rather disorientated and bewildered by the performance, unwillingly participate in a cruel exhibition of their mental instability.
Similarly, a scene in A Place For Paedophiles, made for equally uneasy viewing. As part of their annual Halloween celebrations, the patients sang a rendition of ‘Addam’s Family’. Given the context, the family-friendly lyrics took on a whole new meaning - “They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky, they're all together ooky, The Addams Family. Their house is a museum, where people come to see 'em, they really are a scream, the Addams Family.” An ill-advised song-selection and one which gave Louis yet another apt opportunity to stand in the corner and watch on like an uninvited party guest, fearful of encroaching on the paedo party. His face said it all.
Thanks to the remarkable access gained by the production team, the film offered an eerie insight into the lives of ostracized individuals who society chooses to shun. Scenes in which grown men construct toy fun fair rides and reminsce about preying on their own children, were disturbing to say the least. Faced with stories of unimaginable human cruelty, Louis kept his cool and took the role of a passive bystander – resisting the temptation to judge, criticise and condemn.
If nothing else, Louis is certainly a brave man. In one scene, he obligingly drank a cocktail mixed by a man convicted of date rape. In his typically polite and oh-so-British manner, he complimented the convicted rapist on his concoction, sipping the drink as the camera lingered on his awkwardness.
Although Louis never really delved into the deep realms of their depravity and questioned what prompted them to act out their perverted fantasies, he did seem to form a relationship with some of the contributors. By the end of the documentary he seemed verging on understanding them and finding forgiveness for their loathsome acts against children. Mostly they were Grandpa-figures you’d befriend if they were a neighbour, old genteel men, softly-spoken and welcoming… and it was easy to forget, that these were the very qualities that enabled them to gain children’s trust in first place. A compelling documentary but one that chills to the core.
Watch on BBC iplayer here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00k3ms6/Louis_Theroux_A_Place_for_Paedophiles/
Monday, 20 April 2009
Friday, 17 April 2009
We love em', Kevin Bishop loathes 'em...
Media Savvy’s Thursday night is about one thing… The Inbetweeners. OMG, it's well good. It’s Skins for those who didn’t spend their youth popping pills, getting laid and dressing like the Primrose Hill set. Skins is like, sooo last year.
Unlike the achingly cool, gurning, posh kids in Skins, The Inbetweeners are virgins and misfits, pubescent and horny, single but willing. They brag about their imaginary sexual conquests, gatecrash underage discos and drive around in a girl-repelling canary yellow Fiat.
Their lives revolve around ‘muff’, ‘minge’ and ‘gash’. They even go caravanning in a futile attempt to get laid. Another of Jay's disastrous attempts to help lose their 'V' plates. Lol.
Series 2 is now playing at 10pm on E4. As unmissable as Will’s Mum’s tits.
Unlike the achingly cool, gurning, posh kids in Skins, The Inbetweeners are virgins and misfits, pubescent and horny, single but willing. They brag about their imaginary sexual conquests, gatecrash underage discos and drive around in a girl-repelling canary yellow Fiat.
Their lives revolve around ‘muff’, ‘minge’ and ‘gash’. They even go caravanning in a futile attempt to get laid. Another of Jay's disastrous attempts to help lose their 'V' plates. Lol.
Series 2 is now playing at 10pm on E4. As unmissable as Will’s Mum’s tits.
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
How to spot a TV Researcher
Media Savvy was intrigued to read The Guardian's Graham Johnson ranting about "the shiny, skateboard-riding world of independent TV" in his article on Monday. It's less of a serious piece of journalism, more of a shameless personal rant about Zig Zag Productions and his bad experience working on a low budget production for Bravo. Really, Graham. Call yourself a journo? A little bit of research into Bravo would have informed you that it's nothing more than a low rent, male-skewed and rather seedy digital channel that specialises in tabloidy doco shows about sex or gangsters (or both). It's the TV equivilant of The Daily Star.
I mean, 1x45 documentary for a 30k budget - what did you expect?! The channel caters for people with low intellect and even lower concentration levels. It's a poor man's Panorama - think Danny Dyer, not David Dimbleby. But in Bravo's defense, they do car crash TV very well.
Much to my office's amusement, Graham went on to slag off the programme's Researchers as if somehow they're responsible for him not getting paid. Again, Graham, if you were a good journalist you'd have done some research and discovered that nowhere in a Researcher's job description does paying the talent come in. That's the PM's job, my friend.
Graham's grievances aside, the article did raise an important issue - why do TV Researchers dress like T4 presenters?
I quote, "We've all met them - the TV researchers who dress like members of the Ting Tings and come to work on scooters, skateboards and plastic children's toys . Futuristic bohemians they may be. But not necessarily journalists... Like mafia assassins, they come with a smiling face. The female TV researchers are posh and look like Peaches Geldof. (For posh read: will work for nothing for years, and can stay in Daddy's London pied-Ã -terre rent-free while career takes off)..."
Must dash, I'm off to Brick Lane on my vintage Lambretta to spend Daddy's allowance on skinny jeans, indie-pop CDs and Nylon magazine.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/mar/30/freelancer-graham-johnson-tv-dispute
PS - we don't enjoy dressing like The Ting Tings or working for free, it comes with the territory. Just like a McDonald's worker doesn't like wearing a baseball cap with a big yellow 'M' on it.
I mean, 1x45 documentary for a 30k budget - what did you expect?! The channel caters for people with low intellect and even lower concentration levels. It's a poor man's Panorama - think Danny Dyer, not David Dimbleby. But in Bravo's defense, they do car crash TV very well.
Much to my office's amusement, Graham went on to slag off the programme's Researchers as if somehow they're responsible for him not getting paid. Again, Graham, if you were a good journalist you'd have done some research and discovered that nowhere in a Researcher's job description does paying the talent come in. That's the PM's job, my friend.
Graham's grievances aside, the article did raise an important issue - why do TV Researchers dress like T4 presenters?
I quote, "We've all met them - the TV researchers who dress like members of the Ting Tings and come to work on scooters, skateboards and plastic children's toys . Futuristic bohemians they may be. But not necessarily journalists... Like mafia assassins, they come with a smiling face. The female TV researchers are posh and look like Peaches Geldof. (For posh read: will work for nothing for years, and can stay in Daddy's London pied-Ã -terre rent-free while career takes off)..."
Must dash, I'm off to Brick Lane on my vintage Lambretta to spend Daddy's allowance on skinny jeans, indie-pop CDs and Nylon magazine.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/mar/30/freelancer-graham-johnson-tv-dispute
PS - we don't enjoy dressing like The Ting Tings or working for free, it comes with the territory. Just like a McDonald's worker doesn't like wearing a baseball cap with a big yellow 'M' on it.Friday, 27 March 2009
troubled waters for TV
Channel Five lay off their finance department, ITV commissioners are having to re-apply for their jobs and popular, long-running game shows like Golden Balls are being axed in favour of cheaper productions and smaller production teams. Not a good time for TV and almost every other industry being hit hard by the recession. It seems only BBC are truly safe, they can just hike up the licence fee to weather the storm...
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Price vs. Piers
As headline-grabbing as the Piers Morgan interview with Katie Price was, I found it difficult to focus on anything apart from her face. Her tipex-white teeth, over-botoxed forehead and Morticia Adams-inspired hair do... it was all so distracting. She's starting to resemble Michael Jackson more and more. At least he doesn't draw in his eyebrows with felt-tip pen. Her waxy skin looks so taut that when she speaks the only things to move are her inflated lips and fluttering fake eye lashes.
Monday, 2 March 2009
Curry not Mr Chips
Roy Walker is best remembered as the patronising presenter of retro game show, Catch Phrase. But for reasons only known to him, he's swapped Mr Chips for a curry with the Churchill dog in the latest of their ad campaigns. But he's not the only TV presenter to lose his way.Like Linda Barker. You’ve got to feel sorry for her. Her career went from the dizzying heights of BBC’s hugely popular Changing Rooms alongside Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen to gracing the pages of lads mags (an ill-advised choice for any aspiring presenter) to being the face of the DFS adverts.
Or Konnie Huq, who like hordes of Blue Peter presenters before her, has struggled to find her feet after leaving the sugar-coated realms of a long-running kid’s TV series. The fact that she still looks like a teenager doesn’t help. Especially as she's 32 years old. She’s failed to carve out a presenting career and instead seems determined to get lumped with tabloid z-listers… the poor girl would turn up at the opening of a packet of crisps if she thought she’d get a few more column inches. Now it seems she's finally found her calling as the face of Alberto Balsam shampoo… things are looking up.
I feel a show coming on... resurrecting the careers of failed TV presenters! Wait a minute, isn't that the point of Celebrity Big Brother and I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here?
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Are naked, jobless men a turn-on?
Sky One have commissioned Credit Crunch Monty, a 90 minute male stripping special. And about time too. TV has become a feast of flesh with Dawn Porter, Gok Wan and Trinny Woodall constantly persuading women to get naked for the nation's viewing pleasure… isn’t it about time us girls got to laugh at the opposite sex naked too?
Donna Taberer, Sky1's commissioning editor for entertainment who commissioned the show, said, "Credit Crunch Monty will be a 100% feel good experience for viewers and participants alike providing a cheeky antidote to the current economic slump."
The idea is simple - a group of jobless men (shouldn’t be hard to find) will be turned into strippers in a bid to improve their self-esteem. Although I doubt the show will do anything to improve on their job prospects… unless they’re planning to embark on careers as male gigolos.
From a former City worker to a builder, these unlikely pinups will be stripping for cash in a tribute to one of my favourite Brit flicks, The Full Monty. Who said the Brits were prudish? We’re at the very forefront of tantalisingly trashy telly!
Taking inspiration from films got me thinking... how about Credit Crunch Titanic? A ruthless reality show to provide light relief from the recession – we send greedy bankers to sea and vote for which iceberg they crash into. It'd guarantee high viewing figures...
Donna Taberer, Sky1's commissioning editor for entertainment who commissioned the show, said, "Credit Crunch Monty will be a 100% feel good experience for viewers and participants alike providing a cheeky antidote to the current economic slump."
The idea is simple - a group of jobless men (shouldn’t be hard to find) will be turned into strippers in a bid to improve their self-esteem. Although I doubt the show will do anything to improve on their job prospects… unless they’re planning to embark on careers as male gigolos.
From a former City worker to a builder, these unlikely pinups will be stripping for cash in a tribute to one of my favourite Brit flicks, The Full Monty. Who said the Brits were prudish? We’re at the very forefront of tantalisingly trashy telly!
Taking inspiration from films got me thinking... how about Credit Crunch Titanic? A ruthless reality show to provide light relief from the recession – we send greedy bankers to sea and vote for which iceberg they crash into. It'd guarantee high viewing figures...
Monday, 16 February 2009
TV Twitter-holics
Jonathan Ross, Jimmy Carr, John Cleese... they're all at it. Twitter is the crack of the showbiz world. They're all addicted. Updating their Twitter status every few minutes from their Blackberries and iPhones as thousands of adoring fans await their updates with eager anticipation. Not that I'm judging, I love to pry on Fry, read the ramblings of Russel Brand and see photos of Danny Wallace killing time in Richard and Judy's greenroom. Procrastinating has never been so easy.
My favourite 'tweet' so far was from Alan Carr... "Just watched 'The Wrestler', loved it, I wouldnt be surprised if Donatella Versace goes on to win the Oscar. She was amazing."
There's something deliciously voyeuristic about Twitter, it beats watching Celebrity Big Brother because you're only following the celebrities you like or are interested in. Not thick glamour models, shamed TV presenters or one of Michael Jackson's siblings. In fact, could this be the end of celebrity reality shows?
It's like being able to text them, read their diary and track their every waking movement. A new generation of celebrity cyber-stalkers has been born...
My favourite 'tweet' so far was from Alan Carr... "Just watched 'The Wrestler', loved it, I wouldnt be surprised if Donatella Versace goes on to win the Oscar. She was amazing."
There's something deliciously voyeuristic about Twitter, it beats watching Celebrity Big Brother because you're only following the celebrities you like or are interested in. Not thick glamour models, shamed TV presenters or one of Michael Jackson's siblings. In fact, could this be the end of celebrity reality shows?
It's like being able to text them, read their diary and track their every waking movement. A new generation of celebrity cyber-stalkers has been born...
Chavs take over E4
Media Savvy is loving the new E4 advert... those Daily Mail readers are right, televised filth, Haringey Council and Gordon Brown are responsible for Broken Britain! With the abundance of underage fornicating, reality TV and pre-watershed nudity - what is the country coming to? Bring it on, say E4...
Noel leaving Sky?
Thank you to James Donaghy at The Guardian for bringing this clip to my attention, what a gem it is. Watch Noel as he loses his temper and launches a scornful tirade of verbal abuse after Wealden District Council 'sneered' down the phone and refused to participate in Noel's HQ on Sky One (I don't blame them... Bring Mr Blobby back, I say)
The episode was edited for the Sunday night repeat provoking Noel to 'threaten to quit Sky'. We live in hope...
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
What Do Commissioners Want?
You’d be forgiven for thinking that developing TV shows would be the best job in the world. Closely followed by professional chocolate taster, personal shopper or masseuse for David Beckham. That’s obviously a very personal opinion from a chocoholic, shopaholic man-eater. Where was I? Oh yes, development is a funny old place. Sitting around all day scouring the internet, poring over newspapers and having brain-storming sessions in an attempt to get inspiration for the next Celebrity Come Sing, Dance And Dine With Me In The Jungle format.
And you can guarantee that whatever channel commissioners tell you they absolutely DON’T want, is exactly what they will go and commission. Commissioners love their buzz words – “noisy”, “daring”, “bold” is what they’re after nowadays. Noisy? Turn it up loud enough and anything can be bloody noisy. Daring? Like showing a soap opera lesbian kiss before the 9 o’clock watershed? Bold? Like being bold enough to commission yet another show about getting women superskinny, naked, young-looking after humiliating them with extreme close-ups, billboards showing their bulging muffin tops and then let Gok, a washed up pop star and the editor of a lad’s mag decide that they’re too fat for telly anyway. But it’s somehow justified as a celebration of ‘real beauty’. Yeah, right.
At least celebrity-led travel docs seem to tick the boxes and get the commissioners’ pulses racing. Stephen Fry in America, Paul Merton in China, Amazon with Bruce Parry (all of which I love). Hang on a minute... how about Carol Thatcher in Jamaica? Hmm, back to the drawing board…
And you can guarantee that whatever channel commissioners tell you they absolutely DON’T want, is exactly what they will go and commission. Commissioners love their buzz words – “noisy”, “daring”, “bold” is what they’re after nowadays. Noisy? Turn it up loud enough and anything can be bloody noisy. Daring? Like showing a soap opera lesbian kiss before the 9 o’clock watershed? Bold? Like being bold enough to commission yet another show about getting women superskinny, naked, young-looking after humiliating them with extreme close-ups, billboards showing their bulging muffin tops and then let Gok, a washed up pop star and the editor of a lad’s mag decide that they’re too fat for telly anyway. But it’s somehow justified as a celebration of ‘real beauty’. Yeah, right.
At least celebrity-led travel docs seem to tick the boxes and get the commissioners’ pulses racing. Stephen Fry in America, Paul Merton in China, Amazon with Bruce Parry (all of which I love). Hang on a minute... how about Carol Thatcher in Jamaica? Hmm, back to the drawing board…
Monday, 9 February 2009
Saturday, 7 February 2009
BBC's biggest bigot?
To say Carol Thatcher isn't racist is to say Jim Davidson isn't a homophobic, xenophobic misogynist. As Etta James would say, someone should give her an ass whooping. It's now emerged that she not only referred to a mixed race French tennis player as a 'golliwog' but also a 'half golliwog' and a 'golliwog frog'. And all this 'in jest', according to her agent. She should just join the BNP and be done with it. Then at least we can get hold of her address and let Jo Brand send her poo.
Friday, 6 February 2009
Weturn of Wossy
I'm a big fan of Jonathan Ross. He's no Parky when it comes to his clumsy interview technique but there's something likable about his schoolboy humour, floppy hair and jovial banality. Last night was no exception. He's bounced back remarkably quickly from his spell 'on the naughty seat', as Stephen Fry puts it, and was quick to poke fun at ex-BBC star Carol Thatcher. Ironic, given that they have both been disciplined for making offensive remarks and some (Daily Mail readers) would question whether Ross should have received the same punishment. Bursting on set through a wall of fake snow, the gaffe-prone presenter joked that Carol Thatcher shouldn't expect a warm reception at Notting Hill Carnival this year... Now Wossy, didn't your Mother tell you not to throw stones in glass houses? I'm sure you won't be getting a Christmas card from the Sachs family next Christmas either.Anna Friel's interview was awkward to say the least, the ex-Brookside star confessed that she hates interviews before pleading, 'can we start again'? Fidgeting in her revealing LBD throughout and squirming uncomfortable when quizzed about her family, the Pushing Daisies actress seemed rather overwhelmed by the prospect of being interviewed in front of a studio audience. This was probably the reason for her cringe-worthy comment about the Chinese language, when she compared it to the funny voice of an alien character in her recent film. Realising her blunder, she quickly apologised and ernestly insisted, 'I'm not racist!' Undoubtedly this lapse of judgment won't make the final cut. Like the BBC don't have enough on their hands with Ross, Clarkson, Thatcher, Moyles and the endless list of blunder-prone, headline-grabbing, complaint-inducing presenters. Her interview warmed up towards the end as she confessed to being 'the first person to fart on set' during the filming of Land of Lost with Will Ferrell. It is clear that Friel, despite her disarming good looks and northern charm, needs some media training and practice at conducting herself in interviews. As Anne Robinson would say, she'd look out of depth in a puddle.
Tom Jones on the other hand took Ross' banter well, given that he was teased relentlessly about his new acceptance of the grey-haired look. With his Dale Winton tan and aging hair colour, Ross couldn't resist the opportunity of comparing the Welsh warbler to a pint of Guinness and a silverback Gorilla. What a charmer. All this from a man whose hair is modelled on Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen...
Finally, Che star Benito Del Toro took to the leather sofa. In Ross' typically brash manner, he insisted on comparing the size of his... er... cigar with that of the Puerto Rican heart throb. I'd like to comment on the rest of the interview but I was too busy visualising Benito naked... sorry.
In the face of adversity, Wossy is back. Albeit with his tale between his legs.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Credit Crunch Career
The recession is a somewhat double-edged sword for the TV industry. According to Jolyon Barker, head of Deloitte's TMT practice, "this year's predictions show there could be a silver lining to a recession, if you are in television."
Budgets are being cut, broadcasters like C4 and Five are struggling, Drama is taking a hammering, people are out of work and fighting for the dwindling job opportunities yet TV ratings are set to soar.
Budgets are being cut, broadcasters like C4 and Five are struggling, Drama is taking a hammering, people are out of work and fighting for the dwindling job opportunities yet TV ratings are set to soar.
But as more and more people opt for a money-saving night in, curled up on their interest-free DFS sofa watching another repeat, there is surely a demand for new, uplifting, feel-good television? Instead, BBC are commissioning depressing programmes to reinforce our doom and gloom like Bust, which they describe as ‘an emotional journey of debt and bankruptcy’…
aspirational stuff.
Bust, BBC One
Monday, 2 February 2009
3 Myths of TV
I work in TV. And I realise that I’m very lucky as it’s a job I love (most of the time). There seems to be a false preconception that working in TV is A.) glamorous B.) well paid and C.) full of Guardian-reading, middle class media studies Graduates.
Well, it’s certainly not A.) – any Runner who has still been in the production office at midnight clearing up Producers’ coffee cups will tell you that.
B.) – you pay peanuts, you get peanuts. Except in TV, where it seems you pay peanuts and you get thousands of bright young University graduates clamouring for the opportunity to get their converse-clad foot on the TV ladder. All desperate to avoid the conventional route of grad scheme, temp or worst of all – debt-ridden and living back at home with Mum, reminiscing about the good times in student Ville when beer was cheap and lie-ins until 3pm weren’t frowned upon. Trying to work in an industry where jobs are poorly paid and hard to come by seems a viable option when you’re young, ambitious and haven’t endured too many knock-backs. It’s appealing if you have an insatiable appetite for telly-watching, you dread the idea of working in a dull, soulless industry where money is supposed to motivate you and corporate Christmas parties with your David Brent boss the highlight of your working year.
Oh and finally, C.) - personality essential, degree optional. In fact, a media degree is a sure fire way to put off employers. They seem to dread the know-it-all, media savvy grads who arrogantly put 'Producer' on their CV - referring to a low budget student film shot on PD 150 as part of their course. The middle-class myth comes from the fact that most wannabe-Runners get financial support from the bank of Mum and Dad whilst they do illegal 'work experience' and allow production companies to take the piss out as they work unpaid for the privelage. And let's face it, most of us can't afford to work unpaid in London, especially with 3 years of debt on our conscious. So maybe degree isn't the best option after all... But it sure is fun.
Well, it’s certainly not A.) – any Runner who has still been in the production office at midnight clearing up Producers’ coffee cups will tell you that.
B.) – you pay peanuts, you get peanuts. Except in TV, where it seems you pay peanuts and you get thousands of bright young University graduates clamouring for the opportunity to get their converse-clad foot on the TV ladder. All desperate to avoid the conventional route of grad scheme, temp or worst of all – debt-ridden and living back at home with Mum, reminiscing about the good times in student Ville when beer was cheap and lie-ins until 3pm weren’t frowned upon. Trying to work in an industry where jobs are poorly paid and hard to come by seems a viable option when you’re young, ambitious and haven’t endured too many knock-backs. It’s appealing if you have an insatiable appetite for telly-watching, you dread the idea of working in a dull, soulless industry where money is supposed to motivate you and corporate Christmas parties with your David Brent boss the highlight of your working year.
Oh and finally, C.) - personality essential, degree optional. In fact, a media degree is a sure fire way to put off employers. They seem to dread the know-it-all, media savvy grads who arrogantly put 'Producer' on their CV - referring to a low budget student film shot on PD 150 as part of their course. The middle-class myth comes from the fact that most wannabe-Runners get financial support from the bank of Mum and Dad whilst they do illegal 'work experience' and allow production companies to take the piss out as they work unpaid for the privelage. And let's face it, most of us can't afford to work unpaid in London, especially with 3 years of debt on our conscious. So maybe degree isn't the best option after all... But it sure is fun.
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Day 1 in the big blog house (Geordie accent, optional)
I’ve decided to embrace the internet and have finally succumbed to Flicker, Facebook, Twitter and lastly… blogging. I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t really know what ‘blogging’ was until quite recently. The craze never really caught up with me, or I never really caught up with the craze. ‘Blog’ – such an ugly word - it sounds like a contagious virus or swampy area of wasteland. Much like TV I suppose.
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